my travel buddy.

Hey friends!

I sorta use this blog as a modern-day scrapbook for myself. As you’ve probably noticed, my scrapbook entries this year has been rather scarce. I guess you could say my struggle with anxiety has been a fairly large contributor to this predicament.   

I’ve battled with anxiety since grade school. It can be incredibly controlling. My constant struggle with anxiety has led me to have periods of depression and I don’t use that term lightly. I won’t feel or act like myself. Things that have always brought me joy, I lose interest in. Fairly obvious example: blogging being something that’s brought me joy and you see that there’s been maybe two entries in the last eight months.


When some of my friends find out that I struggle with anxiety, I get a lot of “Wait really? I wouldn’t have guessed you deal with that. You play it pretty chill.”

Okay, so I paraphrased that but you get my point.

I read somewhere that anxiety is like your permanent travel buddy. Most people don’t travel everyday. You go through seasons of traveling but you always make it back home. Anxiety comes in waves. Yes, the harsh waves bring discomfort. Though, the waves calm down eventually. You just don’t know how long that storm may last.

Anxiety is a part of our lives, but we don’t have to let it keep us living in a prison of fear or retreating in shame. We have the opportunity to look it square in the face and allow God to used it to transform our lives.
~Rhett Smith

As a Christian, I’ve always been private/ashamed of my struggle with anxiety. Worrying is a form of questioning God’s sovereignty and plan for our life. In this season of chronic anxiety, through seeking out wise counsel and addressing my battle with anxiety, I’m finding that it’s a santifying process. It’s a painful process but a necessary one.

We can choose to embrace that anxiety, clothed in grace by God, and allow Him to lead up into freedom and possibility. It is in this place that our lives are transformed.
~By Rhett Smith

My body has recently taken physical hits from chronic anxiety, which is new for me. It is no fun feeling like you have no say over how your body processes anxiety. It brings a whole new level of feeling defeated by a mental disorder. So again, while seeking out out wise counsel, on the mental/emotional aspect of anxiety, I’ve been researching how to find relief without relying on a pill.

Disclaimer: I’m not against modern medicine. In my early twenties, I was on anxiety medicine. I personally didn’t have much relief from the medication that I was given. Many people find relief, which is great! For myself, I also can have an addictive mindset with medicine and I prefer not dependant on a pill when there may be alternatives.

Boy oh boy.

Am I thankful for all I’ve learned. It’s been a smidge overwhelming, but I try to keep it simple and implement small things everyday.

All this to say, I’m here. Alive and (kinda sorta) well. When doing research on anxiety, I’ve found it’s seldom to hear about others battles with anxiety, through a christian point of view.

Please note: I’m not implying that therapy from a non-christian stance isn’t effective.

While on this journey of addressing my anxiety head on, I’ve felt like my virtual scrapbook could be a little platform to share and encourage others who battle chronic anxiety as well. I’ve had this draft saved to my google docs for two months.

Truth be told, I have yet to get to the calm waters with my anxiety. When researching how others address chronic anxiety, it’s been challenging to find resources that talk about anxiety from a light that’s rooted in the gospel.


It’s in the lack of safety that I slowly began to see that my anxiety was good and led me to pursue God more than I ever had. I was beginning to see that God didn’t want me to stuff those emotions and feeling and so He used anxiety as a tool in my life to help me radically purse Him and who He wanted me to become.   
~Rhett Smith

I’ve felt compelled to share little nuggets along the way while my silent, yet permanent  travel buddy is still near and (not so) dear.



a mindset like little humans.

I posted on an old blog five years ago about how I loved being around kids and remember wishing I work with kids full time and not being stuck behind a desk all day.

One of the things I’ve learned nannying is to live life in a sense of awe like children.


Yes, Eli was pointing at a raggedy old gate at the zoo in this picture, but it’s forever reminding me to have a sense of awe when it comes to living and not taking life too seriously. One of my other littles literally jumps up and down, filled with pure joy when he knocks just one pin down when bowling.

It’s the same mindset for how I ought to look at the gospel- like a little humans look at life. To have eagerness in hope and expectation. That everything we do and say comes from a state of awe.


our prince charmings are lost.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I’m post a smidge early because I’m just that excited.

In honor of this day I would like to treat my readers to a one-hit-wonder blog that a dear friend and I randomly created four years ago.

*please note this blog is purely comedic satire*


For easy access: Here is post from the blog titled Our Prince Charmings Are Lost from 2014.
Hello friends,
You have Brandi and Emmy here. We felt compelled to give you a front row seat to our exciting single lives as twenty-something year olds. You can expect posts explaining the pros and the cons, the ups and the downs, the joys and the sorrows of being single in cold, sad world where lonely people unite to make comedic blogs.
So get some popcorn and a cold refreshment and sit back and get ready for some entertainment… And cuddle up with your loved one if you’re lucky enough.
The girls that will open the first ever Bed & Breakfast with no honey moon suites.
Emmy’s Letter: Part I
Dear Brandi,
Today was absolutely horrid. I had to make myself breakfast in bed and I managed to burn the toast. I went through the day with seeing happy couples surrounding me and eyeballing me like I had a disease that was highly contagious. But I was able to get through it without shedding a tear. I then went on to take myself out to dinner since I had failed earlier in the morning. On my way to my favorite burrito joint, it began to rain. I had to lay my own jacket over a puddle to walk in fear of ruining my new shoes, just to ruin my jacket. And once I finally made it to the door, I had to open it myself. It was a nightmare.
I walked up to the hostess to inform her I had a party of one. The lady led me to my table and the waitress came shortly after. She asked if I was waiting on someone and once I enlightened her to the fact that I was not, she abruptly took the other place setting away, as she went on to get my red wine to ease my sorrows. After that, everything was smooth sailing. I think the red wine had something to do with that.
I hope you had a great day, but hopefully you didn’t find a man yet.
Because I would have to end it.
Singles Unite!


Brandi’s Letter: Part I

Dear Emmy,
I’m sorry about your day, but mine wasn’t much better. After listening to my coworkers talk about their relationships for hours, my friends eventually invited me out for a movie. Little did I know that they were bringing their significant others. If I knew they were, I would have invited my cousin. As I walked up to the ticket booth all alone to purchase my romanic comedy ticket, the teller looked at me like a lost puppy. She should have just given me a free ticket for the Single Ladies of America Foundation. It could have been a tax write off.
Let’s fast forward to the middle of the movie. I had managed to drop the popcorn, that I bought for my lonely self. One of my friends offered for me to have some of hers. When I went to grab some popcorn I accidentally grabbed her boyfriends hand. That wasn’t awkward at all. I didn’t have popcorn for the rest of the night and my stomach growled the rest of the movie. On a brighter note, due to the excessive cuddling of my friends next to me, I didn’t need to fight for the arm rest.
I hope you have a better day tomorrow, but that you didn’t find a man.
Because I would have to end it.
Singles Unite!
In other news:
That year we had one of the most epic Valentine Days.
It was definitely one for the books.
Not noted in the screenshot: I was give two Darryl and TWD t-shirts.
My friends get me.


We are still single.



2 0 1 7 // part one

If this blog post doesn’t represent that it’s never too late to start, I don’t know what is.

Nonetheless, Happy freaking New Year!

even if it’s 41 days late

I mean, I blogged a grand total of four times last year. The least I can do is give y’all a glimpse of the year I fell off the face of the earth.


When I thought about what I was going to write in this post I was kinda stumped, honestly. I didn’t have as many “noteworthy adventures” as I did in 2016, where I was zip lining or white water rafting every other month. Once I took a moment to look at the year, I found that it was more of a year of finding joy in the small, simple things.


There were a handful of FIRSTs.

Your girl got boujee and had her first facial because who wants to live their life with boulders in their skin?!

Bless Serenity Skin Studio for dealing with my endless questions and my hot mess-ness. 

“I knew you were ready for me because I just heard a bigggg sigh once you laid down… though the door.”
~my sweet esthetician 


I also attempted follow the crowd and venture into this whole succulent craze.



I bought an Aloe Vera plant. Not a cute cacti. Aloe Vera.

But hey! At least I always had sunburn relief at arms length & at any moment’s notice ?!

&& yes, I eventually killed the poor thing.

I’m done. I can’t.

silent film

I attended my first silent film. It definitely was not what I anticipated. The live music consisted of the most odd, darkest (borderline disturbing) techno music I’ve ever heard in my life. It was an experience to say the least.

I also got to move in with this gem and had a handful of random adventures. One being, playing darts at an Irish Pub (another “firsts”) on St. Patrick’s Day.

Turns out that I’m not half bad, either.

Would I put money on it? Well, let’s not too crazy.


Oh, but it gets better.

We finished the night off with a nighttime ghost tour.


Our new St Patrick’s Day tradition!

Finishing off the night dancing at Irish Pubs where one of the most jolliest, middle aged woman drunkenly told us, “Now, let me tell you young ladies something. Y’all don’t ever wait for someone to step onto the dance floor to start having fun. Life’s too short!”


Well, turns out that you can’t put a years worth of memories in a post without making a novel. So I’ll give you my 2017 in sigments.

Until next time, peace!


a sweet email.

Happy New Year!
I posted this on my facebook a couple weeks ago and wanted to share here.
I look at this blog as a scrapbook to look back on and this moment is something I want to remember


The holidays can be challenging. A couple weeks ago when I was holiday shopping, I noticed a Target employee trying to help an elderly woman who had wondered behind a counter of the cafe. It was evident that the sweet woman wasn’t all there mentally. About a minute later, an employee brings her husband her and the man simply said, “Margaret! I lost you” with the look of defeat filling his face.

I sat with the couple for a bit to help calm the woman and comfort her husband. After taking and praying with them, I gave the husband my business card and asked him to please let me know if I could serve them in any way.

Fast forward to today. It’s been an emotionally tolling day with my heart breaking for loved ones suffering in this season. I opened my email to a letter from that husband from Target. Apart of the email he shared the list of scripture that he prays over him and his wife. The timing of this email isn’t “fate” but God using this sweet mans trials and speaking his wisdom into my life.

As I’m sitting in tears over this sweet email, I’m reminded again to not look at this Christmas season with a tightened jaw based off of circumstances but how focus on how the significance of the birth of Jesus & how it’s given us the opportunity to have this unfathomable source of perseverance and peace in hard times.



under the sea week.

Happy Toddler Tuesday!

This week’s theme entailed lots of sunblock and sand in my car.

Please note:

Every time we pile into my little scion, the kids chant, “adventure time in Emmy’s box car.”

Ninety percent of the time they make a little song out of it.

Never a dull moment, I tell ya!

Under the Sea.jpg


This week to avoid last week’s dilemma of doing all the crafts in one day, I spread out the activities and crafts.

You can find such things here.

My mom boss sent me a blog that gave me a plethora of ideas on outings in our area, which helped a sister out! #PraiseHandsEmoji


Anything that has to do with paint is a huge hit for my younger two. Thankfully, I found a craft that required NO BRUSHES! Washing paint brushes can become a pesky little task, so when I see a craft that entails paper, paint, and celery… It’s a winner in my book.

click on pictures to enlarge

Paint projects mean lots of paper towels. Empty paper towel rolls makes for yet another ocean creature craft!


Soon enough, we had an aquarium full of paper ocean creatures!


Finally, we ended the week with one of the messiest crafts I’ve done to date.

…It was me that made the mess.


Despite my butterfingers, the kids loved getting their fingers full of sticky substances and sculpting abstract versions of sea creatures and sea shells 😉


Every Friday is our Surprise Day! Though, I’m sure it wasn’t much of a surprise for my nanny kids, given the theme of the week.


We packed my little box car full of snacks, water, beach towels, and lots of sunscreen and headed to Hanna Beach.


Can I say Hanna Park is the place to go! I wanted to go to a beach that wasn’t crowded, to help my #NannyBrain and make it a smidgen easier to keep tabs on my nanny kids.

The park also has a pretty epic splash park and play groud that has a kid safe zip line.



So, there it is!

Under the Sea Week!

Full of messy crafts, multiple part trips, and beach day!

I’d say it was a good week 😉


Oh yeah, I also got to help Flash make a gift for his dad.

So that was cool.



sports week.

Toddler Tuesday!

So if you’ve met me, you’ll typically gather that I’m a nanny fairly quickly.

I usually can’t go very long in a conversation with out telling some outrageously funny story about something that one of my kids have said or done. It’s gotten to the point where I try to make a conscious effort to not bombard people with endless pictures or stories of adorable children.

The last year and half I’ve nannied for multiple wonderful families, whom I love to the moon and back. However, this summer I’m with one super rad family of three little rascals. So, this summer I’m trying some new ideas I’ve seen other nannies implement into their summer routines.

Every week is a themed week! With that theme there are crafts and activities that correspond this it.

Can you guess what theme was the first to debut?


Now, before we dig into everything sports, I wanted to do a little something to start the summer off.

It’s no secret of how quickly kids grow up. You blink your eyes and they go from barely speaking full sentences to having a fully-involved chatter box personality. So I made this sheet to have a nifty “before picture” for our summer adventures. My hope is these tiny humans grow maybe a centimeter or two.

Stay young, you little ones!

Untitled design (1).jpg

Please note that last answer.


Confession Time:

I grossly overestimated how long my activities and crafts were going to take.

On Monday, we’d sit down for a craft that would I anticipate would take about thirty minutes.


They did that craft in TEN minutes.

So, we may or may not have done all the crafts and activities I had planned for the whole week, in one day.


But boy did I learn my lesson! This week is much smoother and strategically planned out, after finding how quick these little humans are!



Thankfully, Pinterest is my forever saving grace! #PraiseHandsEmoji

I found more sports and rainy day (courtesy to hurricane season approaching) activities to fill up our day!


With little trips to museums and parks, I managed to get their energy out just in time nap time/quiet time!

Click here to find every thing sports-themed activities and crafts!


Can we applaud these kids on their resourcefulness? We couldn’t find scarfs or bandanas to serve as a blindfold. They improve with long-sleeved shirts! 


One of the things I implemented through the week are these Kindness Jars as a positive reinforcement system.

How it works:

Through out the week I’ll jot down times when they were being extra helpful, kind, etc. Then, every evening the parents pull the jars down from the mantle and celebrate the kind notes.

My hope is for the kids to be extra motivated to be extra kind/helpful/etc every day.

The more “kind notes” the kids received, the more surprises they would receive on Fridays.


The Surprise Day!

It helps that the kids are naturally precious spirits, but I’d like to think that those little “kind notes” had a little influence 😉

So Friday was a rather full day!

The day was full of bakery visits, park visits, bowling, and topped off with some tasty pizza.

I’d say any week full of paper baseball crafts and chocolate pudding makes for a good week!


What theme shall be next?!